Welcome to my Ask Dr. Sole weekly web column!
This is where I answer all your questions about men, dating, and Soleology.
I'm Donna Sozio author of Never Trust a Man in Alligator Loafers: What His Shoes Really Say About his True Love Potential.
In the book, I teach women to trust their "inner sole" instincts to read a man by his shoes to see if he's good dating material.
To see what Ask Dr. Sole is all about below is a quote from Alligator Loafers!
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Ask Dr. Sole
Q: I’m dating one guy who only wears expensive designer shoes, but they are all run down and scuffed, and the soles are getting thin. Another guy I’m considering has terrible taste in shoes, but they are impeccably clean and well maintained. Whom should I go for?
A: The answer is simple. Go for the guy who you think will bring you the most happiness. It sounds like your designer man thinks that once he’s got the “right” shoes that all his efforts can stop. He’s forgotten about the maintenance side of life. Especially, when it comes to his sole. There’s a high chance that he takes the same no maintenance approach with his romantic relationships as well. Once he’s done enough to bag you, all efforts stop. Yet, your other friend could be a diamond in the rough. Although you aren’t attracted to his personal style that can be worked on because what he’s got going for him sounds like a solid sole to build on. Because your diamond in the rough takes excellent care of his shoes, most likely he will take excellent care of you. Ask yourself: if I were a shoe which man would I want to take care of my sole?
And here are emails from actual Alligator Loafer readers!
Q:
Hi Dr. Sole,
What about nice black European leather dress shoes, fully covered feet - no holes? His shoes were well-heeled -as in expensive- but no socks. Any guidelines about a no-sock look on a guy? It actually looked good and he was wearing them with jeans.
-Ruby
A:
Dear Ruby,
Usually men that wear that type of dress shoe with no socks are feeling sexy. It's like their little black dress. Black is elegant and they're showing a little skin. Men don't usually expose their bare shoulders but they are allowed to flash an ankle or two. It doesn't guarantee that he is a wiz in bed though he does exude sex appeal.
- Dr. Sole
Q:
Dear Dr. Sole,
What do you think about guys who wears sandals and socks?
-Michaela, Los Angeles
A:
Dear Michaela,
Is this a habit? Or is it a one-time thing? If it's a habit he most likely thinks he's "transcended" the physical and has little regard for what is or isn't attractive. Essentially, he operates purely on function. Which can be annoying because we do live in a physical world. Lots of old guys wear socks and sandals because they're so old they don't care anymore. In that case it's not annoying - they've earned the right. But the young socks and sandals guys usually do it to "reject" something, which has a hint of rebellion. If it's a one-time thing, his feet could have just been dangerously cold.
-Dr. Sole
Q:
Hi Dr. Sole,
I've been wearing a pair of Dr. Martens for about 10 years now and although they are beginning to fall apart, I am still wearing them. I'm gonna suffer some serious separation anxiety when I have to part with those kicks. What should I do?
Cheers, Daniel
A:
Dear Daniel,
Men can become quite attached to their shoes. Also, separation anxiety is pretty common when it comes to shoes that have been with you any length of time and have had many experiences in. My suggestion would be to get a new pair of Dr. Martens while you still have the old pair. It might make the transition a little easier. You can get know and break in the new pair before the old pair truly bites the dust - or turns into dust. It’ll help with the transition.
-Dr. Sole
Q:
Dear Dr. Sole,
I currently wear one of four very different pars of shoes I have in my wardrobe. I was wondering if you could deconstruct me from these shoes and tell me what type of man I am. Here they are in order of 'worn most often':1. Vans shoes, black2. Slippers, soled furry slippers3. Bass shoes, black leather dress shoes4. Combat Boots, Issued from the U.S. ArmyAre the rules the same for women? Like if my wife wears combat boots, which she does by the way.
Later Days, Zach
A:
Dear Zach,
Black Vans usually depict an artist-type (slip on or tie make a difference - tie is more boyish, slip-on more rebel). I'm thinking you lean more on the rebel side. Soled furry slippers - you definitely value comfort and coziness. They probably still resemble a shoe but feel like a warm cup of tea when you wear them. You really look forward to those moments when you can put your slippers on - and put everything else off. Those are relaxing times - ie: don't bug me about the bills when I'm relaxing in my slippers. Bass shoes - the obedient part of you says, "okay - I'll have a dress shoe. But black is more rebellious than brown. Brown is more compliant. Black still has an edge. And finally combat boots: are these by choice? Or are they work shoes? Makes a difference. If by choice - again you’re the rebel... most likely an artist with rebel tendencies.
- Dr. Sole
If you have any questions about Soleology, men's shoes or how you can read a man by his shoes, email Dr. Sole or visit www.DonnaSozio.com
