Sole Maintenance

Q.

Hi Dr. Sole,

I would like to know what my boyfriend’s shoes say about him. When we first started dating he would wear these white dirty high top Airforce shoes and he wore them for a while.
Then he bought some black slip-on Vans. They are somewhat dirty now because he wears them to work and he also wears them when we go out. I would really like to know what I’m getting myself into!

From,

Sole Maintenance

A.

Dear Sole Maintenance,

Great observations! A man’s shoes can tell you loads about his habits, attitudes and general behavior. How we do one thing is generally how we do all things.

What seems very clear is that your boyfriend isn’t up to speed on Sole Maintenance. Like shoes, relationships need maintenance. Otherwise, just like his high tops and Vans the relationship can start to look and feel shabby.

Before you make any decisions, ask yourself, “What needs maintenance in your relationship?” Where does it need a shine?

Then talk to him about it. Tell him how important it is for you to be taken care of. You might be surprised by the results!

Lack of self-care is another issue that the condition of his shoes is telling you about him. The Soleology Trickle Down Theory says that if he isn’t taking care of his shoes, most likely he isn’t taking good care of himself. You might want to gently encourage him to take better care of himself. If he might get touchy, there can be a lot of old issues under his “dirty” sneakers. Give him a hug and some breathing room if something comes up.

Remember, we can only care for others to the degree that we can care for ourselves.

Yours,
Dr. Sole

SOLE LIFT

Q.

Hi Dr Sole,

I was watching you on the Tyra Banks Show and I have a man who wears these shoes: they have a slight quarter of an inch lift on the sole of the foot and they are rounded in the front, size 11, light brown leather Sketchers.

Could you please give me some insight?

Thank you so much!

From
Sole Lift

A.

Dear Sole Lift,

Before I go into a Shoe Reading first ask yourself, “What insight his shoes give you?” Focus on the qualities that his shoes exude. Then match up those qualities to what you want in a man. Are his shoes nice and comfortable, kind and soft? Is that what you are looking for in a man? Or do you think brown is boring? And that’s not what you’re looking for in a relationship?

Try out your own intuitions about the qualities of his shoes that you discover.

Sketchers as a brand tend to be hybrid shoes. Which means they aren’t in one category or another. Guys wear them at the office; out on a date, and get away with them at dressier occasions. Be careful he doesn’t have a “one-size fits all” style (and attitude) to life.

Relationships need variety and excitement to keep them going over the long haul. Perhaps, take him shoe shopping and introduce him to new shoes that exude the qualities you like best about him and what he likes best about himself.

It’s fun to get out of your comfort zone – starting with your shoes!

Yours,
Ask Dr. Sole