Sole Maintenance

Q.

Hi Dr. Sole,

I would like to know what my boyfriend’s shoes say about him. When we first started dating he would wear these white dirty high top Airforce shoes and he wore them for a while.
Then he bought some black slip-on Vans. They are somewhat dirty now because he wears them to work and he also wears them when we go out. I would really like to know what I’m getting myself into!

From,

Sole Maintenance

A.

Dear Sole Maintenance,

Great observations! A man’s shoes can tell you loads about his habits, attitudes and general behavior. How we do one thing is generally how we do all things.

What seems very clear is that your boyfriend isn’t up to speed on Sole Maintenance. Like shoes, relationships need maintenance. Otherwise, just like his high tops and Vans the relationship can start to look and feel shabby.

Before you make any decisions, ask yourself, “What needs maintenance in your relationship?” Where does it need a shine?

Then talk to him about it. Tell him how important it is for you to be taken care of. You might be surprised by the results!

Lack of self-care is another issue that the condition of his shoes is telling you about him. The Soleology Trickle Down Theory says that if he isn’t taking care of his shoes, most likely he isn’t taking good care of himself. You might want to gently encourage him to take better care of himself. If he might get touchy, there can be a lot of old issues under his “dirty” sneakers. Give him a hug and some breathing room if something comes up.

Remember, we can only care for others to the degree that we can care for ourselves.

Yours,
Dr. Sole