Wednesday, June 18, 2008


Welcome to my Ask Dr. Sole weekly web column!

This is where I answer all your questions about men, dating, and Soleology.

I'm Donna Sozio author of Never Trust a Man in Alligator Loafers: What His Shoes Really Say About his True Love Potential.

In the book, I teach women to trust their "inner sole" instincts to read a man by his shoes to see if he's good dating material. I also teach men how to put their best foot forward... because women are looking at the shoes on their feet!

Hello Dr. Sole ,

I'm hoping you can help me. For the longest time now I've been stuck with 4 pair of shoes that I interchange. I’m just wondering if they are right for me - or not.

Shoe #1
I wear black oxford shoes to work with a heavy duty sole (non-slip and oil resistant) with medium round black laces.

Shoe #2
White K-Swiss athletic shoes that are starting to get worn out but are good for walking.

Shoe #3
Brown Oxford style Sketchers with medium round laces, kind of dressy and kind of casual.

Shoe #4
Black Dr. Scholl’s Oxfords with smaller laces and just kind of there.

I saw your clip from The Tyra Banks Show and I’m wondering if any of these shoes would misinterpret me? I tend to be laid back and fun. But I can be shy at times and serious as well. Am I doing the right thing right now? Or not? Hope you can help.

- Sole Stuck

Dear Sole Stuck,

What jumped out immediately from your email was that you think you are “stuck” with these four pairs of shoes. That tells me you are ready for change in your life! Especially when you are wondering if the shoes you wear represent who you really are.

It’s important to remember that you are never stuck – especially your shoes! And if your shoes are “just kinda there”… it means somewhere in your life, you are “just kinda there” too. Think about where you feel stuck in your life – or just kinda there. You might be surprised with what you find.

So – do these four shoes correctly represent you? I would say no! – because they represent the “stuck” you.

Imagine for a minute that all things are possible. What would you be doing? Who would you be doing it with? Where would you be? Now, ask yourself, what shoes would that guy (you…unstuck!) be wearing?

Go out and buy yourself those shoes. Shoes that are definitely “there” and make a statement about who you really are. Every time you wear them, let it be a reminder that you are the captain of not only your own life but also your shoes!

Hope that helps!

Dr. Sole

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